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[16 Aug 2012|01:03am]


Mommy said I couldn't "play" with my poo!
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[22 Jan 2012|12:11am]


Mrs T is really a drag act from the Canaries

This is the actual story!
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[08 Sep 2011|02:40pm]


Walliams: 'I swallowed when I should have spat!'
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[25 Jun 2011|12:21pm]


"Ooh! Did you touch them? Did they like it? Ooh! Ooh! Suits you."

Milliband encourages party members to "touch people"
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[24 May 2011|08:48am]


In this picture exclusive, Moss from The IT Crowd
is seen communicating with Bin Laden

IT crowd's Moss put on world's most wanted list
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[11 May 2011|11:42pm]


Police release first image of suspected cat burglar
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[07 Mar 2011|06:03pm]


China up arms race by breeding three-armed soldiers
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David Cameron visits a Persian Restaurant after his speech in Germany... [22 Feb 2011|09:09am]

[ mood | amused ]

Cameron is quoted as saying 'I didn't realise their food was this hot!!!'

Sadly the taps jammed at this point and no water was available for him. The local Anti-Fascist group, who were also eating in said restaurant at the time, had tragically drunk all of theirs. So could not share...

Full coverage here.

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[17 Feb 2011|11:02pm]


When other kids would play Hide and Seek, Julian Assange
would always point out where they were hiding.

Assange was "crap at games" when he was a kid
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"Britain's Worst Farter" Embarks on World Tour [04 Dec 2010|08:43pm]

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[16 Sep 2010|08:31pm]


Aquaman, who cannot breathe air, had to be transported in
a custom-built fish tank

Thousands throng to see Aquaman
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Flintoff quits cricket to become Jedi [16 Sep 2010|07:50pm]


Lightsabre to be "unusually broad with a flat edge" says spokesman.

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Fare dodging taken to new levels. [06 Jul 2010|07:30am]


"..and the beautiful thing about this get up is we only need one passport"
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'Ice Man' finally completes stage of Tour De France [05 Jul 2010|09:04pm]

Tour de France 2010
Start: 3 July, Rotterdam Finish: 25 July, Paris
Coverage: Listen to the final hour of every stage on the BBC Sport website (UK only), with selected stages on BBC 5 live sports extra ; Watch live on Eurosport and ITV4; Live text commentary each day on BBC Sport website

Frenchman Sylvain Chavanel finally completes stage of the Tour De France 94 years after setting off.
Chavanel was presumed dead after failing to complete the Alpe d'Huez stage in apalling weather in 1906. His body was finally discovered earlier this year after spending 94 years moving slowly down the mountain, preserved inside a glacier. "We had to wheel him across the line" said local resident Pierre Gachout, "it was what he would have wanted".
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Bieber Defeated in PRS Shocker [05 Jul 2010|04:09pm]


That pus-filled little cunt, Bieber, trying to look cool again.

Justin Bieber loses pivotal game of Paper Rock Scissors to jubilant Mandela.

"Rules are, like, such a drag, man" -Bieber drawled while being fed spoonful of pre-chewed swan by a phalanx of eunuch slaves.

Mandela is reported to have promised the young pop-insect a "Proper fucking slapping" if he didn't leave his sight immediately.

Mandela, Victorious.
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[03 Jul 2010|10:42am]


London leads alarming rise in the trade of elephants warn authorities
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[19 Jun 2010|06:05pm]


After instantly processing many quatridabytes of financial data,
prime minister CameTron-2010 was alleged to have reported "Oh fuck!"

Came-Tron gives first official response to pre-budget report
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[01 Jun 2010|11:18pm]


"Ya seen what I did to 6 Music" Said new Head Of Programming,
Sid Sickb'stard. "Wait til ya see what I got planned for CBeebies!"

BBC unveil new Head of Programming
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[10 May 2010|07:27am]


"Knowing me, know you Ah-ha!"

Clegg and Cameron to remake Abba hit
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[24 Apr 2010|09:16pm]


The government's new 'Department for silly walks while sitting down'"
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